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Gave a speech today (well yesterday at this point) for my Communications class. It was an experience I shan't soon forget. Which is good. Since at some point I am sure there will be a test. Probably not on what I learned, though. We gave our speeches sans teacher in small groups of people, in our group's case 7, though only 5 of us were prepared to give our speeches. We were instructed to keep our speeches to 10 minutes including 3 minute rebuttals. Sounds nice right? If done right, our group could have shaved 30 minutes off of class time. Ha! Not likely (apparently)... Instead we were treated to more loca than I've been privileged to witness in quite some time. Loca (who normally has been, while a trifle emotional, fairly stable seeming) had apparently lost her mind today, due perhaps to her dire thoughts regarding the obvious "Earthquake Weather". I don't know.

We are gathering our wits and speeches up, preparing to decide who among us is to approach the front and give our speech when she preempts us and, grabbing a book from her bag, which seems rather large proceeds to try and teach us about 'The Trail of Tears'. While ordinarily, I would applaud the decision to boldly forge new trails of bullshit in the face of scholastic endeavors, she was sadly missing the mark completely, and about to burst into tears at the plight of the Native Americans. We kindly informed her that should she desire to make up an argument, we had no objection as long as she did it after we finished our already prepared speeches, thus in our minds giving her time she seemed to desperately needed to yanno, pull one together. She then argued over whether we were supposed to even be giving speeches. Between myself and another student, we managed to get her seated and mildly apologetic. At first. She may or may not have interrupted my speech, I was too preoccupied giving it that I probably wouldn't have noticed a bomb go off, but once the rebuttal started it was sort of cuckoo unleashed! She did not understand the concept of a) rebuttal and b)anything we were doing...

The next speech was on water, and like a bucket of water on a propane stove, the flames of crazy just got brighter and hotter for Loca as she interrupted to ask about Nephrology, and to offer weird little comments. Well the lady giving the speech is sort of blunt and rapidly was losing patience and told her it wasn't the time for comments. By this point the looks of confusion and genuine WTF were being passed from person to person like cheese fries at the Outback, fast and loaded with bacon... hmm maybe without the bacon, but basically there were a lot of them. I had to shush Loca a couple times. By the end of this speech Loca was losing it further, deteriorating into challenging the existence of Nephrology as a field of medicine and loud decrying of smoking as a cancer causing killer, claiming she had 'seen the bodies'! No one was sure what cigarettes had to do with water, at all. We again requested she either provide a genuine rebuttal or butt out and again for a time we had some peace. Then she started complaining about the next speech and its length, and afterwards decried the stereotyping of illegal immigrants claiming 'They ALWAYS blame it on the Mexicans, Phillipinos drive too!' This was actually almost on topic, since the speaker was proposing drivers licenses for illegal immigrants. Of course that was until she equated indicator markings designating immigration status on a drivers license were tantamount to the tattoos given to concentration camp victims...

I think that Loca did every single thing our teacher had asked us NOT to do...Next came a fairly uneventful speech on cell phone usage and then the final speech. As soon as the poor girl's proposition had fallen from her lips, Loca was on her and decided to challenge her topic, yelling out 'You already did this one for your informative!' Meanwhile, it wasn't... and also, how unnerving is it to try and give a speech to a group of people you don't really know that well, all the while being heckled by a mentally unstable girl, answer: very. The shushing count was getting outrageous, as I continually tried to steer things away from the rocks, wondering if I was going to have to attempt to remove her bodily...not that I would have had a shortage of volunteers at that point. She continued to make comments the entire time the girl was talking, despite repeatedly being shushed. At the end of the speech, arguing mental parity for people that are anorexic, Loca butts in... again. This time talking about how Miss Britain was a size sixteen and she was beautiful! An ironic statement considering the entire speech was about helping people that are too skinny to get treatment to deal with their disorder and yanno, gain and maintain a healthy weight?

Since we were being peer graded, I collected the papers, Loca gave everyone an A+, while loudly equating us with preschoolers (they let her teach children! AAAAAAH) and I carefully separated out hers from ours, because I'm not sure what crazy translates into in point value. Did I mention that before class she'd been grumbling about pfizer and their clear guilt in human atrocities during the Holocaust, this being the only way they could know so much about humans? And something I didn't catch about Castro and bioengineering...
The teacher was told about the disruptions... and we all finally got to leave.

It just goes to show, that when someone assumes you are 19, when you are 25... they obviously must be crazy, clearly I look 30.

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fufumira

July 2011

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